Release Date: Friday, January 15 2010 Stars:
Denzel Washington , Gary Oldman , Mila Kunis , Ray Stevenson , Jennifer Beals
Genre(s): Drama, Action, Adventure, Western
For some reason no one has posted this one, and I saw it, so I'm making the move here.
It was better than I expected. I expected two hours of preaching about Christianity.
The bible wasn't even mentioned by name for most of the book, and it wasn't until about 45 minutes in that we knew that it was the bible he was carrying.
I did like that he gave it to people who were looking not to control people with religion but merely store a bible along with a torah and quar'an
If you haven't seen this... DO NOT SEE IT. Well, unless your hobby is to poke holes in piss-poor movie plots, which is exactly what I did after viewing this piece of sh*t.
here are a few of the gaping chasms I found in the plotline...
Why do the henchmen obey Carnegie in the first place?
When, exactly, does Eli become blind? Since "the book" was in braille all along, I'm inclined to believe he was that way all along. If that's true... Denzel Washington plays a f*cking sorry excuse for a blind person. Maybe it wouldn't have been too agonizing on its own, but compared to Jennifer Beals? She acts more helpless than he does, and she'd been blind for her *entire life.*
I also don't like that they never explicitly mention WHY the bad guys have shaky hands. This movie is aimed at bible-thumpers, and I don't think a lot of them are aware of the symptoms of kuru.
In summary, the entire movie is a deus ex machina.
Why doesn't the dude die when he gets shot in the goddamned stomach? BECAUSE GOD WANTS HIM TO LIVE.
Why does the blind guy have perfect aim, perfect depth perception, and for all practical purposes seems to have superhuman eyesight? BECAUSE OF GOD.
They don't really need to explain ANYTHING, you know, when they've got GOD.
The most baffling thing of all was, to me...
If they have the Torah, WHY OH WHY do they need this blind guy to recite the entire Old Testament from memory?! One could argue that only he knows the King James version... but really, it can't be that different. Not enough to put a disabled brotha through all that trouble.
Eh, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Gary Oldman was good, and the short scene was Michael Gambon and Frances de la Tour was enjoyable. I was just so disappointed it was too busy to go see Shutter Island...
This was better than I thought it would be, although I hated the opening scene. (I'm a cat lover). Ending was a bit of a letdown for me. And I didn't even recognize Gary Oldman. For shame....
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