[image] Several years ago I found that anytime I ate salad I would upset my stomach. I thought this was because I wasn`t eating enough salads and foods of that... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of 1-800vertigo | mood: Good

your soul is like a secret that I never could keep :p

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1 month ago - Thursday 3/31/22 - 1:46:33 AM EST (GMT-5)

Several years ago I found that anytime I ate salad I would upset my stomach. I thought this was because I wasn't eating enough salads and foods of that nature. So I started eating those things more and more and each time I would get sick.

Eventually this experiment in diet ended when I threw up so much salad that it was overflowing from the toilet.

I think I approach all of my life this way. I just suspect that I am at fault. Even when its to my own detriment I will keep pushing and trying to wedge my way into spaces even when its awkward, weird, or clearly not the right fit. If that makes sense.

1 month ago - Thursday 3/31/22 - 1:57:16 AM EST (GMT-5)
I haven't had an "episode" for lack of better word since a month or two ago when I like actually lost my sense of reality.

Which I think pushed me into writing more for whatever reason. Its been a little bananas lately. I rearranged most of the draft, cut a lot, and as of now am at 34,594. Which is like a baby number. I'm taking my time with it though, I cant risk misplacing words and their meanings wit the topics I'm messing with.

Speaking of writing some people at work got together to collect staff poetry for poetry months. I was going to write something to give to them but everything ended up coming out...well good but distinctly me?

I write about things that have happened to me, the place I grew up, and imaginary little scenarios. But the imagery I use is often so, just not good for the workplace lol.
1 month ago - Thursday 3/31/22 - 2:03:34 AM EST (GMT-5)
If individually a coworker asked to see my work I would probably share. But overall there's like hundreds of people who I work with who would see it. Like my poem about me being drowned in a bath tub and begging the feminine religious figures I grew up with to forgive me for still harboring affection for men after said incident doesnt seem like cool to share at work.

Even my more fun stuff is only fun with context.

Anyways had a one on one with my supervisor today. I think she was implying that I should aim higher with my prospects lol. Which felt good actually? Like yeah I do do good work for this place thanks for noticing and thinking I can do better.

The new girl at work is very pretty lol. SPEAKING OF WOMEN, I got hit on at the bank? Carolynn if youre reading this that was insane.
1 month ago - Thursday 3/31/22 - 2:07:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
I dont know. Have been a bit out of sync lately. I probably just need to call my friends, eat a meal with my siblings, and take a nap in front of the shrine, listen to my boyband playlist you know

1 month ago - Thursday 3/31/22 - 3:03:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yo, I tried this app called finch and I'm usually not the one for self-care apps but I love it. try taking a look at it, it's pretty cool.
I understand feeling a bit out of it, what usually helps me is taking a self-care day to just do what I want and chill or have fun.
I also like writing specifically poetry currently. I think it makes normal thoughts even more beautiful and I can turn my secrets into something more.
You can dm me and we could share both of our favorite pieces we've written If you want, I've seen sharing something you're proud of helps :))

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